Teen Mom: Tha Final Season

Episode 1 Recap

Maci goes hard in the mother f*cking paint n****. Leave diapers stanking n**** what the hell you thankin n****?

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Teen Mom 2 Recap Finale

So, you guys! It’s our last episode of Teen Mom 2, aka the saddest show MTV is currently airing. And as always, endings are bittersweet. We get goggles and raincoats on babies, more Victoria’s Secret Pink attire than we can shake a stick at, and a Cory who still has not learned how to close his mouth. Let’s do this…for the last time. 

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This Week’s Teen Mom 2 Recap Is Here!
This weeks Teen Mom: Court dates! Balloon hats! More court dates! Charity work (I know, what?)! And more court dates! 
Written by Carriecam
Pic’ed and captioned by Clinto (who was feeling extra saucy today)

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This Week’s Teen Mom 2 Recap
Hooooo boy kids do we have a good one tonight. Child support! Lawyers! Possible waxed eyebrows! Year Round Brown! Girl on Girl (scary hair pulling fighting) Action! Strap in and let’s do this. 
Written by Carriecam
Pic’d and captioned by Clinto

Leah 
When Leah’s busting out this face during an argument you know there’s fixin to be trouble.

Cory and Leah are looking for places to live.  Leah happily utters the saddest sentence ever: “And I’ll be a coal miner’s wife!”.  They continue to need to close caption Cory 99% of the time, who decides he doesn’t want to move so he can get a new truck. Also, does he wax his eyebrows? Take a good, hard look at those things and get back to me.

Hmmm…

It should also be noted that my precious goggle baby isn’t wearing her goggles this episode. Come on, baby, give the people what they want!


 
Quit teasin’ us girl.

I said quit playin’!

In the end, Leah decides to move to the trailer and Cory says he’s not going, soooo there’s that.

Facelyn
(Human totem pole)

Why is she always yelling at her baby? Jo bascially rips her a new one about child support, despite the fact that she obviously needs his help. Her giant boyfriend then borrowed a hoodie from the biebs and eyebrows from Bert (of Bert and Ernie, obvs) and did his best to comfort her.

Never say never baby.

She consults a lawyer with a terrible haircut and prepares to face Jo and I assume his terrifying mom. 

Chelsea
Adam continues to ruin Chelsea’s life. And continues the great hair fakeout of 2012. He broke up with her (duh) and she goes to talk to her mom about it and ohhhh it’s like listening to 19 year old Carrie and I just want to shake her and tell her to run. She also starts her job at Year Round Brown, which is a terrible name for any store. She’s all sadz about Adam but hopefully unlimited tanning for free will ease her pain. 

Jenelle
If anybody asked me who Janelle was I’d just show them this.

Babs pulled a Facelyn and is requesting child support from Janelle, Jenelle continues to only have conversations from her bed or when wearing full sweatsuits.

I am a fan of everything that comes out of this girl’s mouth.

Jenelle gets mad at Kieffer for talking to other girls, to which he says “I don’t owe you shit,” to which SHE responds by threatening to drive him in the middle of nowhere, where he jumps out. All of this seems like appropriate behavior for parents of a young child, yes? Yes, I thought so too.

Anyway, they then break up for the 495827th time, and she takes it out on her roommates for no reason. ohhhh Jenelle. You are such the worst that instead of saying someone or something is the worst I’m going to say it’s the Jenelle. AND THEN HER ROOMMATE PULLS HER HAIR AND KICKS THE CRAP OUT OF HER holy shit that escalated quickly. More shocking than all that? Jenelle is actually wearing jeans.

This Week’s Teen Mom 2 Recap Is Here!

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The new Teen Mom recap is up, and thanks to Carriecam it is hiiiilarriouuussssss.

The recap is up! Take this gif of cuteness as my offering to thee.

This is a Teen Mom’s report card

At least she passed College Success… from this week’s Teen Mom 3 Recap.

Teen Mom 3cap

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