
Fun fact, most bar crawls do not involve actual crawling. Other fun fact: mine did.
To give you the super speedy version I met a girl while on a bar crawl and we really hit it off and at the end of the night we were making out in the back when (in a probable attempt to hide our makeout party from her brother/bartender) she pulled me into a backroom. I should say, she attempted to pull me into a backroom. In the movies and on TV this usually works well and builds sexy tension and the two people get it on and it’s all hot and heavy and whatnot, but in reality (I should say my reality) the door flung open far easier than expected and the two of us went flying through and came immediately crashing down in a twist of inebriated human wreckage, one on top of the other.
Only one of us would leave that bar on two feet. The other would leave on 5 (that’s one good foot plus two friends on either side) on their own little parade of shame back through the bar and off to one of Baltimore city’s finest ERs.
So as you read this I’m about to go into surgery to get three bones in my ankle, umm unfractured or something. I don’t know they’re gonna fix it, and it’s gonna take ‘em two hours and me 6 weeks to recover. I’m gonna miss so much work that I’m going to officially drop into a heretofore unseen level of broke as sh*t.
But at least I’ll be able to blog.
{Pause. Crickets. Sound of an empty room.}
Oh, chicka-chicka, yeaaaaa.
-Clinto
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